The raw emotions of pregnancy after miscarriage

Just stay positive.

Sometimes, that is easier said than done. The first few days after finding out I was pregnant, I was so negative. I kept telling my husband "IF we have the baby…," etc. Emotionally, I had been preparing myself for another miscarriage assuming this is all this pregnancy will come to yet again. I was telling myself that I had been through one before and that I will be able to handle another if I don't get attached like I did with our first baby. My thoughts now were about if they would have a future, if I would become a mom to a living and thriving child, and the conflicting feelings of fear and excitement. I was no longer concerned about the after-fact of having a child. I was more focused on how I could carry this baby to term.

You see other pregnant women gloating over their pregnancy and wishing you could have the same confidence as them. The thoughts of having our first ultrasound is terrifying. I will have to go back to that day from our previous pregnancy and hearing those words "Sorry, but there is no heartbeat." That is something no mother ever wants to hear. My mind constantly sweeps through the very real memories of physical pain and ends with the vivid, breathless, heart pounding, soul pain that accompanies loss. Will future babies be lost? Will this one I am carrying now? The loss of pregnancy or a child changes everything. You mourn the loss of your child, dodge less-than supportive comments, fight to find a new normal, and the innocence of pregnancy has been changed in your eyes forever.

If you’ve not lost that amazing innocence, it may be hard to understand the effects that this experience can have. Pregnancy is no longer this miracle that occurs — something that you stand back and watch. It becomes scarier — not because of how things will change, but because of a hope that things will change.

That history won’t repeat itself.

For anyone who has ever gone through a miscarriage and is currently expecting, take it one day at a time. Know that you are not alone. These emotions you may be experiencing are normal for someone going through what we have been through. Breathe and cry when needed. Talk to someone about how you're feeling. And always remember, God has your back.

As for me, I am now trying to talk more positive and keep the faith that God has this. God will take care of me and the baby. He has a special plan for us.

She does not fear bad news; she confidently trusts the Lord to take care of her.  -psalm 112:7



Prayer for Pregnancy Health

Lord, thank you for perfect health and wholeness in my body. Because I believe in Jesus, I have been redeemed from a fallen nature and freed from its curse. I have been bought with a price and restored to right standing with God. Therefore, I am sealed by the blood of Jesus, which makes me a partaker of God’s richest blessings. The scriptures reveal that children are a gift and God’s reward. According to Proverbs 10:22, “the blessings of the Lord makes one rich and He adds no sorrow with it.” Therefore, I will experience great joy and undisturbed peace during my pregnancy. I will not have a difficult pregnancy nor will I have hard labor. Jesus died on the cross to take away my sickness and pain and by His stripes I am healed. I pray for a good medical report regarding all prenatal blood testing, routine physicals, ultrasounds, and readiness for childbirth. Moreover, I pray that any symptoms I experience will be mild, manageable, and minimally require any medicines or medical intervention. Thank you, Lord, for my continued good health during my pregnancy. In Jesus’ name, Amen.